Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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