A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
