Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
