if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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