I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
