I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I am naked and annoyed.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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