Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Randomize
