I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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