there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
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