you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Randomize
