They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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