I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
I am in a vortex of obligation.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
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