i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
