I hope mine doesn't look like that
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
