he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
