We're facebook friends in real life
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
