i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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