bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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