whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize
