went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
And then the night went full on bisexual.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
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