we're blogging at a bar
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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