he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
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