fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize
