You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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