He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
