It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
