His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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