I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
