Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
i just google imaged poop.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I would ride that face into the sunset
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
