the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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