Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
