nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
