Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Randomize
