i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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