Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Randomize
