Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
i drank out of a bidet.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
