Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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