do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
