margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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