My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
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