Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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