Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
