theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
