You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
