And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
whose parrot is this?
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
