my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
how does that bad decision feel?
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
