I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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