Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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