Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
