I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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