I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
