Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Sext me about skeletons
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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