Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
